To put it bluntly: My grandfather in New Jersey is dying. I got a phone call about two weeks ago saying they are stopping all his chemo treatments and he is officially on hospice. I am unable to take time off from work due to the baby, needing to save as much PTO as possible, so my cousin and I made the 12 hour trip up there and back within 48 hours. I spent an entire day with my grandfather and I am grateful I was able to do that. He is so thin, weak and unsteady on his feet. This is not a man I’ve ever seen before and I did keep the shock from showing on my face when I first saw him.
Since stopping his treatments, he has began eating again, not too much, but he can hold it down finally. He seems to be in good spirits, but I do not think he has fully accepted the prognosis. I reviewed all his test results and frankly, there isn’t much they can do. Even with chemo and radiation, the cancer has spread to his brain, his liver, ect. My grandmother asked for my opinion and I told her honestly. The best thing for him to do now is enjoy the time he has left. With how sick he is, chemo would make it so much worse. Even to have chemo ,you have to be relatively healthy, which is not so in his case sadly. I love my grandparents very much, but I will not lie to them.
The day before we drove to NJ, we did find out we are having a girl. My grandfather was hoping for a boy, but he was definitely happy nonetheless. It just makes me sad that he most likely won’t ever get to meet her. I do try to be positive about things though, no matter how sad they might be. At least I had my grandfather this long. A lot of people do not get to have all of their grandparents at 27.
It is up in the air whether I’ll be able to go home for the funeral, but I’m happy I got to see him now then when it is too late and I couldn’t tell him I love him. Right now it is a wait and see. Until then, I’ll just hope he enjoys his coffee, jeopardy and enjoys the love that is surrounding him because we have a giant family!
Until next time friends,